Dear sweetheart,

Six years of marriage — wow!!! In many ways, it seems like it was just yesterday that we celebrated that beautiful, perfect day.  In others, it feels like it’s been a lifetime, and I think that’s because doing life with you has always felt so comfortable and just right. Like it’s the way it was always supposed to be.

We’ve packed a lot of life into our six years, and in the almost ten years we’ve spent together, we’ve celebrated so many huge milestones. College graduation. Completing our masters degrees. Our first jobs. Buying our first home. The birth of our first child. Through the highest highs and the lowest lows, we’ve taken every step the way we promised when we took that first leap in our relationship — hand in hand, through all life brings.

Our anniversary this year was probably the least romantic one we’ve ever had because we spent it worrying about and caring for our sick child.  On top of that, we had the disappointment of canceling the family vacation we’ve been planning for months, the one where we were also going to get to introduce our son to so much of my extended family who has never met him.  But if there’s one thing that we’ve learned in the last six years, it’s that marriage isn’t always about the romance. More often, it’s about facing the hard things in life together and cherishing the fact that you don’t have to do them alone.

One of the things I’ve always loved the most about you is that we both value the time we spend together more than anything else.  As hard as it was dating long distance all those years and spending that year of our engagement in two different cities while also starting our first jobs… I truly believe that they gave us a real appreciation for just simply being together and an understanding of the importance of good communication.

As I sit here and reflect on our years together, the things that stand out the most are the small acts of love, the time and attention you give, and all the ways you support me… 

… I think about the weekend of our first meeting — that fateful blind date for the dance at Converse — and how even though we had just met, you stayed and did homework with me in the student center Sunday afternoon because we just weren’t ready to part ways yet. (Spoiler alert: we spent most of our weekends in undergrad and grad school doing homework together!)

… I think about the time junior year that I drank too much coffee while pulling an all-nighter to try to finish my final research thesis and you stayed on the phone with me in the middle of the night until you knew I was okay.

… I think about our second Valentine’s Day weekend when you planned and cooked such a nice dinner at your little apartment for the two of us, and then you ended up sitting up with me on the couch all night and holding my hair every time I got sick.

… I think about all the nights my first year teaching where I was so exhausted that I fell asleep on the phone with you, and even though you knew I would, you still always made sure to call to check in and talk about our days.

… I think about all the times we went to the grocery store together as newlyweds, just because it was fun and exciting to get to do something like that together.

… I think about the dozens of Saturdays you spent with me in my classroom, helping me do little things to get ready for the week or just being there to give me some company.

… I think about the hours and hours and hours you spent with me while I was in labor. I can’t imagine how hard it was for you, but you were the absolute best partner and helped me get through every painful contraction, encouraging me to keep going just a little longer… and a little longer… and a little longer.

… I think about the comfort of your hand on my shoulder and your soft words of reassurance those first hard weeks of nursing when our sweet baby boy’s tongue tie made it so unbearably painful and I cried because it hurt so much.

… I think about how naturally you have taken to fatherhood these last 18+ months and how readily you have accepted an equal role in this parenting journey… especially the un-glamorous parts.  I love seeing how much you love our son and how much he adores you; it has made my heart grow three sizes and made me love you more than I ever thought possible.

There are so, so many joyful memories in our years together, and I treasure them immensely. Those small, quiet acts of love, though? They have always meant more to me than any gift, any date night, any getaway we could ever plan.

Even though you’re no longer the only one I am sharing my life with, you are still — and always will be — my number one. 

Happy anniversary, sweetheart.  Here’s to the next 60 years (and beyond!) of marriage, hand in hand, through all life brings… just as we promised to do at the beginning.

Yours,

Nicole​